How to Help Your Kids Adjust to a New Country

1. Involve Your Kids in the Move

Children feel more confident when they are part of the process. Depending on their age, involve them in tasks like:

• Researching the new country:

  • Show them pictures, videos, or fun facts about the culture, food, and landmarks. Before we even visited Portugal, we showed our kids walking tour videos of all the cities in our top choices. We listened to fado and other Portuguese music and we watched videos about Portugal and its culture. We wanted our kids to be as excited to experience that life firsthand.

• Packing:

  • Let them pack their favorite toys and belongings to maintain a sense of familiarity. When we were making our final move, both kids were allowed to bring 1 bag of all their favorite stuffed animals, toys, etc. that hadn’t already been packed up in the big suitcases. Although they were sad to let some of them go, it made it easier when they were able to give those other toys and stuffed animals to their cousins and friends.

• Learning key phrases in the new language:

  • Practice simple greetings or everyday phrases together. We would practice everyday phrases like good morning (bom dia), good afternoon (boa tarde), good evening (boa noite), thank you (obrigado[a]), bye (tchau), etc. Making this small effort made a big difference with our new community.

By involving your kids, you help them feel prepared and included in this big life change.

2. Establish a Routine Quickly

Routines provide stability during times of change. Try to re-establish your daily family habits as soon as possible, including:

• Meal times and bedtime schedules:

  • The Portuguese prefer to operate a little later than many might be used to. Generally dinner is around 8pm while we were used to having dinner around 6pm. We decided to shift our schedule an hour so that dinner was at 7pm but we could still get the kids to bed by 8pm. Setting up this new schedule as quickly as possible helped make some of the other changes easier.

• Playtime or family activities:

  • Luckily school here also tends to start a little later. Back home school started around 8am whereas here it starts at 8:45 and ends around 4:30. During the week it can be difficult to set aside much extra time for family activities which is why we try to take one day on the weekend and focus on family time. Sometimes it’s going out as a family and staying in and playing games or reading stories. I find it’s something the whole family enjoys and looks forward to all week.

• Homework or learning sessions:

  • Homework is always the first thing tackled when my oldest gets home. It helps to get that out of the way so that we can focus on whatever else we may want to do in the evening. Again, it’s the consistency of the routine that helps maintain some normalcy.

Consistency helps children feel secure, even in a new environment.

3. Encourage Language Learning

Language barriers can make it challenging for kids to adjust. Make learning the local language fun and engaging:

• Use interactive tools like children’s books (like ours!), apps, or games.

• Watch their favorite shows or movies in Portuguese (make sure it’s European Portuguese since Brazilian can sound vastly different).

• Listen to Portuguese music. Children’s songs can be especially helpful in learning.

• Enroll them in language classes or find a tutor.

• Practice common phrases together during everyday activities, like shopping or ordering food.

The sooner kids feel comfortable communicating, the more confident they’ll become. It’s important to understand that you will make mistakes but many times you’ll learn more from those mistakes than you do when you say it correctly. Make sure your kids understand that too. Perfect isn’t the goal, improvement is.

4. Emphasize Making Friends

Building friendships is crucial for helping kids feel at home. Encourage social interaction by:

• Going to the local parks and playgrounds. Portugal has a neighborhood playground every couple blocks. Find one that’s close and go regularly. Kids will automatically engage with one another, especially when they’re younger.

• Setting up playdates with neighbors or classmates. Although you don’t want to stay in an “expat bubble,” it can help for kids to have friends with similar life experiences. Find other immigrants that have moved to your area. The common language and shared experiences can create a lasting bond.

• Attending community events or family-friendly activities.

You can also model social behavior by introducing yourself to other parents and creating a network for your family.

5. Create a Safe Space at Home

Having a comforting, familiar space at home is vital for children’s emotional well-being. Help your kids personalize their room with:

• Decorations or toys from home.

• Photos of family and friends.

• A cozy space for relaxing or reading.

A safe, welcoming environment can ease homesickness and foster a sense of belonging. We actually chose to have our kids share a room to help offset the feeling of isolation when we first arrived. The kids ended up loving the shared room and we found it improved their overall relationship.

6. Celebrate the Local Culture

Help your kids embrace their new surroundings by immersing them in local culture. Make it fun and interactive by:

• Trying traditional foods or cooking local recipes together. Portuguese food is amazing and there are so many options depending on your taste. One pot meals are one of our favorites. It’s easy and delicious.

• Attending festivals or cultural events as a family. Festivals are a regular occurrence here and they are absolutely fabulous. It’s a wonderful way to interact with locals and learn about the culture through firsthand experience.

• Learning about the country’s history and traditions. This includes holidays. Remember that the 4th of July will not be celebrated here outside immigrant circles but the 25th of April will be a joyous celebration across the country.

Celebrating the local culture helps kids develop an appreciation for their new home and feel connected to the community.

7. Be Patient and Listen

Adjusting to a new country takes time, and every child adapts at their own pace. Be patient and create a supportive environment by:

• Encouraging your kids to share their feelings or worries.

• Validating their emotions and reassuring them it’s okay to feel nervous or sad.

• Celebrating small milestones, like making a new friend or learning a new word.

Setbacks will happen, children will miss home. Moving abroad isn’t easy but if you keep in mind that your family is your strength, you can do anything.

Final Thoughts

Moving abroad with kids can be challenging, but it’s also an incredible opportunity for growth and connection. By involving your children in the process, creating routines, encouraging social interaction, and celebrating local culture, you can help them adjust and thrive in their new environment. Remember, patience and open communication are key to a successful transition.

Are you planning a move abroad with your family? I’d love to hear from you!